If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
