"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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