I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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