I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
