If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
