Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
