I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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