Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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