Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
