I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
