There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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