well I can't set my house on fire every night
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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