you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
