Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
ugly people sure do ruin things
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
