Don't EVER smell your tampon
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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