I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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