He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We are two peas in an std pod
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
