I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Randomize
