I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
