Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
