just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
