how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
