So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
