i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
