idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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