I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
he was CRYING into my vagina
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
