Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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