That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
