I'm really into asian looking animals
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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