You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize