i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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