No period for spring break; use this wisely.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize