He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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