My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
