It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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