Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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