I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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