I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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