If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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