is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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