Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
