yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
