Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
