How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
