Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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