Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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