I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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