just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
