I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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