We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
