This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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