i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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