Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
