I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
