i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
