Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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