so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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