He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
