whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
how drunk are you?
Several
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize