Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
